Important Tips for a Job Interview!
Okay gang, following up on the theme of absurdities on the internet, the “tips” below are offered to job applicants on their way to a face-to-face interview. These tips are from a certain recruiting firm that handles technology jobs, this one in particular for a large state agency. (Query: why does a large state agency need an employment agency?)
For a face to face interview:
Ø Remember to turn off your cell phone.
(What? What if my wife texts me and I don’t answer? She’ll be pissed!)
Ø Appearance – Wear a matching suit to the interview, it is always best to be over dressed than underdressed. (If wearing a tie make sure it is properly fitted to your neck and not sloppy)
(What should the suit match? Your boxers? And you can solve the tie issue with a clip-on.)
Ø Be on time; 5-7 minutes ahead of the interview time, no earlier.
(No earlier! Only losers are early!)
Ø Do not chew gum/candy
(Just stick it to the back of your tie for after.)
We highly recommend that men please restrain from facial jewelry/ earrings and we recommend that women keep it simple. Jewelry can be a distraction during an interview.
(Restrain from facial jewelry? Is that a bondage term?)
Ø Do not bring a beverage into the interview.
(Leave the tall boys in the car for the ride home.)
Ø Smile (when you smile at someone, they smile back), be articulate, polite, confident and alert.
(Easier said than done, cowboy.)
Ø Give a firm handshake to the interviewer(s) – extend your hand first – do not wait for them to extend their hand. By extending your hand first, it shows leadership and that you take initiative.
(If you need this instruction, just turn around and go back to the X-Box, dood.)
Ø In a group interview setting, make eye contact. 80% of the eye contact should be with the person that asked the question. Make sure you make eye contact with the others in the room as well.
(Unless you’re in therapy or a prison.)
I wonder if these instructions are only sent to the IT candidates.
Filed under: Internet, Uncategorized | 11 Comments
Tags: dorkismo, interviews, IT, jobs, nerds, technology