Important Tips for a Job Interview!

21Apr10

Okay gang, following up on the theme of absurdities on the internet, the “tips” below are offered to job applicants on their way to a face-to-face interview. These tips are from a certain recruiting firm that handles technology jobs, this one in particular for a large state agency. (Query: why does a large state agency need an employment agency?)

For a face to face interview:

Ø Remember to turn off your cell phone.

(What? What if my wife texts me and I don’t answer? She’ll be pissed!)

Ø Appearance – Wear a matching suit to the interview, it is always best to be over dressed than underdressed. (If wearing a tie make sure it is properly fitted to your neck and not sloppy)

(What should the suit match? Your boxers? And you can solve the tie issue with a clip-on.)

Ø Be on time; 5-7 minutes ahead of the interview time, no earlier.

(No earlier! Only losers are early!)

Ø Do not chew gum/candy

(Just stick it to the back of your tie for after.)

We highly recommend that men please restrain from facial jewelry/ earrings and we recommend that women keep it simple. Jewelry can be a distraction during an interview.

(Restrain from facial jewelry? Is that a bondage term?)

Ø Do not bring a beverage into the interview.

(Leave the tall boys in the car for the ride home.)

Ø Smile (when you smile at someone, they smile back), be articulate, polite, confident and alert.

(Easier said than done, cowboy.)

Ø Give a firm handshake to the interviewer(s) – extend your hand first – do not wait for them to extend their hand. By extending your hand first, it shows leadership and that you take initiative.

(If you need this instruction, just turn around and go back to the X-Box, dood.)

Ø In a group interview setting, make eye contact. 80% of the eye contact should be with the person that asked the question. Make sure you make eye contact with the others in the room as well.

(Unless you’re in therapy or a prison.)

I wonder if these instructions are only sent to the IT candidates.

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11 Responses to “Important Tips for a Job Interview!”

  1. LOL! No wonder the unemployment lines are so long!

    I have a girlfriend in HR. She interviewed a guy once who nestled into his chair like he was watching the football game from his couch and proceeded to slide his hands into his trousers. The only think he was missing was some chip dip and a bottle!

  2. 2 Margaret

    I think if these instructions are only sent to IT candidates then they should include “make sure you smell good”. 🙂

  3. Ahem. As a (former) executive recruiter of high-level executives, I could add many more to this list. And they do sound like absurd tips, but you’d be shocked at the things people do (or don’t do). For example, I cannot tell you the amount of senior level executives who have not only had their cell phones ringing during an interview, but even answered them! Jude

  4. Yikes! These are such basics! I teach these tips to the 10 and 11 year olds in my classroom. I’d hope most adults are beyond this stage – but the tips were fun to read 🙂

  5. 5 Pete

    JUde – the operative word is “former.”

    Cate – did he get the offer?

  6. I interviewed a youth in the late 80s for a job in my jewellery business, and got my assistant to sit in on it so I could have his opinion (we’d both be working closely with whoever got the job). The applicant addressed all his remarks to Mischa, my assistant, presumably because Mischa was a young man, and therefore HAD to be more important than I was as a female.

    I still can’t quite believe this happened…

  7. Maybe it was because Mischa was gay –

  8. A novelist’s guess, Pete – but no, that was not it.

  9. It’s truly horrifying some of the things that people consider quite normal out there in the world, especially when trying to impress someone. You want to make a good impression, not make years of therapy a requirement afterwards. Sheesh! 🙂

  10. Sorry, the post above is me. It’s my alter ego. 😉
    It’s truly horrifying some of the things that people consider quite normal out there in the world, especially when trying to impress someone. You want to make a good impression, not make years of therapy a requirement afterwards. Sheesh!

  11. 11 Terry

    I’m not sure what was funnier, the tips or your commentary. Lol, anyway. Fun post!


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