The Law Is an Ass
Well, okay, not the law per se.
Reading my weekly legal newspaper (Mass Lawyers Weekly) is rarely this entertaining.
One John Queenan sought to buy himself some alcohol at a local package store (that’s the New England idiom for liquor store). Detecting that Mr. Queenan was unsteady on his feet, the female attend demurred. Queenan sought to explain his unsteady gait, telling the clerk he had a new artificial leg. She was unconvinced.
So Queenan dropped trou. Not just his trousers, but his tightey-whiteys too.
He was arrested, prosecuted and convicted of indecent exposure.
The Massachusetts Appeals Court reversed his conviction. It seems that under Massachusetts law, it isn’t enough that you expose yourself in public. The prosecution must prove that you offended someone. Here, when asked if she was offended, the clerk said, “to be perfectly honest, it didn’t bother me.”
Queenan’s defense lawyer explained:
“The prosecutor kept asking the clerk, ‘how did you feel about seeing the penis?’ and she kept saying it was no big deal and she felt sorry for the guy.”
Insert small penis jokes.
[We’re fiction writers – and we can’t make up stuff any better than this.]
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Tags: criminal law, indecent exposure, liquor, package store, penis